Terharunya Rasa Hati ini

Alhamdulillah.....
syukur dipanjatkan kehadrat Ilahi....
selesai sudah Pro Exam.....
result pun dah keluar.....
tahniah buat sahabat-sahabat seperjuangan.....
disebalik pencapaian ini.....
seribu satu cerita yang tak terungkap....
terutamanya bagi diri yang dhoif ini....

bertapa liku-liku yang aku lalui sangat berbeza...
dikesempatan ini aku ingin sangat menyatakan rasa terharu dan syukurnya....

Special dedication to
1) Prof Dr Nasarudin Abd Aziz
2) Prof Dr Abul Latiff Mohamed
3) Dr Norhin
4) Dr Hamidah Abu Bakar
5) Prof Dr Thuaibah Hashim
6) Miss Saheera Kamarzaman
7) Dr Fauzah
8) To all Professors,Doctors and all lecturers of faculty medicine CUCMS.

Thank you so much......
Sebenarnya tak terungkap bagaimana nak berterima kasih pada pendidik...terutamanya Prof Nasa & Prof Latiff....

Prof terima kasih atas kepercayaan,keprihatinan,sokongan,motivasi dan tunjuk ajar prof untuk saya kembalikan semangat untuk terus berjuang walaupun pada masa itu saya hanya berasa samar-samar untuk teruskan perjuangan ini.
Berbekalkan kepercayaan Prof itulah sebenarnya saya bawa sepanjang exam dan persediaan exam.Hanya Allah mampu membalas jasa baik Prof.
"Ya Allah rahmatilah kesejahteraan keatas semua Professorku,pendidikku, luaskanlah rezeki mereka,anugerahkanlah mereka kesihatan yang baik, kurniakanlah keberkatan pada hidup mereka. sesungguhnya mereka adalah anugerah Mu kepadaku"

Buat Keluarga......
buat bonda dan ayahanda yang dikasihi....thanks for your endless support.....
anakanda mu banyak berdosa padamu.....ampunilah segala kesalahan anakanda mu ini....
kasih sayangmu tidak berbelah bahagi....dengan rasa rendah diri aku mohon keampunan daripada bonda dan ayahanda....amanahmu sentiasa ku sematkan dalam hati ini....mohon keredhaan darimu ayahanda dan bonda untuk ku terus berjuang....

buat abang dan angah yang sangat caring.....doakan adikmu ini sentiasa kental dalam menghadapi apa jua rintangan....semoga hati-hati kita sama-sama bersatu untuk menggembirakan mak dan ayah di dunia dan akhirat......

Buat sahabat......
Ucapan terima kasih ku yang tidak terhingga buat housemate yang sangat prihatin....
Pada Sara,Faran,Ecah,Biha,Summayah,Maryam,Sha,Pink,Atirah dan sahabat-sahabat seperjuangan yang lain, kalian sangat supportive.....

"tika ku putus harapan kalian kedepan
tika ku jatuh tersungkur kalian bangunkan
ku bersyukur kalian ada
kalian buat hidup ku sempurna"

Semoga segala bimbingan kalian akan diberkati Allah....
Tak mampu untuk diri ini membalas setiap hasanah yang telah dicurahkan....
terima kasih kerana bersabar denganku...
terima kasih kerana tidak jemu menghadapku...
keikhlasan kalian sangat tidak dapat ku gambarkan....
Kalian merupakan anugerah paling istimewa buatku....

Buat sahabat-sahabat yang distinction
esp : Sara,Faran & Ecah......
im proud of three of you

Buat sahabat diluar sana.....
mizah,farah,acap,fatah,aiman,piot dan yang tidak dapat disebut....
terima kasih atas doa dan moral support kalian....

Buat Senior-senior.....terima kasih atas bimbingan kalian....

Buat staff CUCMS......
terima kasih dengan kata-kata semangat....

Terima kasih yang tak terhingga pada semua.....

Apa yang aku capai bukanlah untuk diri aku semata-mata....insyAllah "degree"ku bukanlah dari aku semata-mata.....kalian semua yang "contribute"....doakan aku menjadi doktor yang dapat memberi manfaat baik pada yang lain semoga pahala itu kita sama-sama share....semoga saham akhirat sentiasa Allah kurniakan buat kalian semua....

Selamat Bercuti.....

Mencari Kekuatan

Tamparan hidup membuatkan kita sedar dari leka...
Aku bermonolog dengan diri sendiri kebelakangan ini...
Sungguh aku lalai dan lemah membuat keputusan...
Iman di dada seolah-olah tercabut tidak lagi menjadi perisai...
Aku tunduk pada bisikan syaitan dan nafsu dijulang...
Di sisiku keluarga dan sahabat yang sentiasa membelaku...
Tapi aku seolah-olah menyerahkan diri untuk keliru...
Jauh sekali untuk membela diri sendiri dalam kekusutan ini...
Sekarang ini aku berada dimedan pertempuran aku tersungkur...
Kekuatan aku cari disekelilingku ternyata hanya ada pada Rabb...
Malu aku pada mulanya untuk berhadapan dengan Rabb...
Terasa diri ini hina disisinya namun ku serahkan juga diriku padaNya...
Air mataku ku limpahkan padaNya memohon pengampunan...
Moga aku dapat istiqamah dalam memohon taubat padamu Ya Rabb...
Taubat sebenar-benar taubat "Taubatan Nasuha" sepanjang kehidupanku...
Kau yang Maha mendengar, Kau yang Maha pengasih, Kau yang Maha pengampun...
Aku bersyukur kerna Engkau memberiku ruang dan peluang untuk kembali...
Aku mohon perlindunganMu supaya aku tidak lagi tersungkur dan terhantuk...
Jadikanlah aku orang yang benar-benar bersyukur atas segala nikmat yang Kau kurniakan...
Teguhkanlah diriku untuk menentang tipu daya dunia yang penuh kepalsuan...
Tenangkanlah diriku dalam menempuh dugaan dan cabaran...
Aku mahu terus dekat denganMu hingga akhir hayatku...
Aku redha dengan segala ujian ini dan mengharapkan pengampunan dariMu...
Janganlah Engkau menguji aku dengan ujian-ujian yang amat dashyat...
Selamatkanlah dan lindunglah diriku dari segala kekufuran dan dosa-dosa...
Ya Rabb Engkaulah Maha berkuasa, ampunilah hambamu yang dhoif dan lemah ini...
Semoga aku terus berada dekat denganMu dan berada dibawah lembayungMu...

SUNWAY-->BILIK MAYAT

salam to all....

Yesterday was my day.....somebody whispered me....
huhu....
I just replied.....
"kene ingat mati kowt"
My housemates said....
"alhamdulillah....patutla puase arinie eh"

huhu....
March every year really significant and meaningful to me...
15 March - My eldest bro birthday
17 March - My Big Day
19 March - My beloved Mama's Birthday
"Happy Becoming Birthday MAMA!!!"

My childhood day "Flash back"
I was thinking...."macam mane la bole cantik jea susun abang,wani & mama nyer birthday"
"tu sume kuasa Allah....wani ngn abang ni memang kembar 3 tahun" mama replied once.
masa dahulu-dahulu cam geram gak ngn statement tu...haha...lawak jea...ye la mmg xsuka diri ini dibanding-banding dan disama-samakan dengan sesiapa...

But now........
I dont mind if people say im twins of my brother...
haha...its fun what...but certain things im totally different from him....

here some chronology of my BIG day....
haha...bukan nak jobo...
but i feel very happy....
dan terharu cam nak nangis jer ngn sumeorg....

it started
15 March 2009
OMG i woke up early in the morning....
whatttt..6.50am...
i thought i was late...
when texted angah...he also not yet ready....
haha how lucky im....
but im in hurry.....
baju sume blum gosok lagi...
xtaw bak pkai baju ape...
ok bantai jea...
so around 830 angah reached cyberia...
we went to LCCT...
jap lagi Mama nak berlepas ke Bangkok....
Nasib baik mama xsampai lagi...
kami sebenarnya agak lewat...
Alhamdulillah we reached there on time...
Sayangnya jumpa mama xlama...
dah kene check in...
jadi kami tiga beradik pegila MaryBrown....
konon-kononnya celebrate birthday Abang...
Haha...the dishes there not bad....tasty and worth buying....
hope abang happy with my gift..simple with thought...
angah sent me to KL sentral...

2nd part of the day....


huhu....
we went to sunway pyramid...
i got mission here...
huhu...
my advance birthday celebration with my best friend...
thanks Miezah for the moment :)...
really appreciate...
we had branch at Papa something...
huhu couldnt remember the name...
it was a new place for me...
as usual Miezah always introduce me the new things...
haha...really enjoy!!!!
fortunately i had a mission...
huhu to buy my new sport shoe...
as mama said thats my birthday present weee!!!!!...
i think we "tawaf" the whole sunway pyramid many times...
haha very tiring...
after i tried almost 20 shoes in several store...
finally i manage to get the one i like :P
actually there is one shoe i damn like...
but no size so sad...
however this shoe is good enough for me after 70% less...
wee as usual i only shopping during sales only :)...
I spent almost one day with Miezah...
huhu interestingly i bought pants also sales 70%...
unfortunately i receive a phone call...
OMG there were alot assignment waiting for me...
i have to give Miezah a big credit help me to select and be patience...
haha...
long time no shop la Miezah :)...
Thank you so much of your cute special cake for me :)...


huhu...
orang nak besar ni...
macam-macam pulak rasanya...
tak tertinggalan rasa nak kawen pun ye gak :))...
tapi "hold on" dulu calon pun tak de lagi...
so sabar jea menanti 17 March ni...
sambil itu bersiap sedia atas apa-apa kemungkinan...
haha...
perasan jea wani ni...
apa-apa pun dalam kepala ni memang tgh serabut pasal YM 1....
pro exam....
arghhhh macam-macam lagi komitment zaman-zaman belajar ni....

17 March 2009
Belajar Public Health....
wah!!!!!block kali ni tak de pulak tido dalam kelas....
mungkin dah besar kowt..
insaf tu lebih sikit....
haha....
banyak pulak bende yang nak di photostat kan...
lepas kelas pun pergilah kedai photostat notes...
kawan-kawan semua buat bodo jea...
"bisik hati ini"
macam nak sayu-sayu pun ade...
tapi bile pikir dah besar ni...
nikamat iman dan hidup dah cukup besar...
nikmat sahabat-sahabat yang baik disekelilingku....
memberi semangat untuk aku terus berjuang...
tiba-tiba Faran call...
jarak umur kami tak jauh berbeza...
selang 6 hari jea...
jadi die mengajak aku main ping pong....
konon-kononya nak rasmikan bad ping pong dier...
wah terasa diberi penghormatan plak...
OMG mmg aku sangat rindu main ping pong...
apa lagi terus berlari dari kedai menuju ke kampus...
huhu....
bila bukak jea pintu DISECTION HALL @lebih dikenali sebagai BILIK MAYAT...
berkumandang lagu pengantin baru :))...
haha salah tema la korang ni....
SUPRISE!!!!....
mati-mati ingat ada ke calon suami sampai meriah lagu pengantin baru...
yang tak boleh tahan siap ade payung "ecah" pegang konon2nya nak jadi pengapit...
haha that was my suprise party yang sangat lawak.....
sampai menangis gelak...
belum abis gelak....
dieorh hadiahkan Raket Squash!!!!!!!!!!!
SQUASH!!!!!WHAT!!!!!!
giler lagi aku rase nak melompat......
THANKS MY DEAR FRIENDS for the present!!!!!!
REALLY meaningful......
sangat tak sangka kejutan yang sangat best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Allah answer my PRAY......

Pulau Perhentian

Alhamdulillah...
really thankful...
miracle happen...
i never expect...
from stem to stern...

Allah shows His miracle...
by touching people heart...
words is like a sword...
better silence...

Allahu Akbar...
why He creates
1.one mouth?
2.two ears?
3.one nose?
4.two eyes?

those people tafakur...
less talk unless it necessarily but listen more to rationalise ,
smell less as it stimulates nafs but observe more to be thankful,


Patience,Calmness,Smile,Positive Thinking...
that is the rule of thumb to achieve Husnuzon...
Things will get better if honesty acts as a key...
Life is so risky and full of choices...
it is the matter how we look at it & think about it...
Perception always plays an important role...
Doing good things to people without hoping any returns...
Do it because of Allah...

"ikhlaskan hati mohon kemaafan leburlah dosa ditapak tanganmu"

Freedom

My day starts with weird dream...
Wondering without thinking...
Yes not feeling well today...
As life must go on...
Lesson knock my brain to enter...
Wonderful lesson today...
Allah loves me by cleaning my heart...
I am not pretending...
It was very smooth...
Allah give me strength to face it...
With hamdAllah thank you Allah...
Reflecting back of the journey...
Allah design it very particular...
Allah most Merciful...
It starts with HIJRAH...

Hopefully this HIJRAH will be BETTER day by day and long lasting...
O Allah I miss to cry in front of You...
O Allah give me strength to istiqamah in seeking knowledge...
O Allah guide me by making decision...
O Allah widen up my opportunities,successful and happiness...
Ya Razk please widen and open up my "rezeki"...

My Next Mission --> rebuild & build my family...
My Focus --> Professional Exam + Young MERCY FYC 2009...

The Supporters

Nafas Baru......

Salam....

"Nafas baru" is dedicated to my best friends who always concern...

aku hidup seperti biasa...
tetapi sebenarnya bukanlah biasa untuk aku...
sebenarnya aku sedang terkapai-kapai...
lautan yang bergelora yang hampir melemaskan aku...
aku cuba mengemis pertolongan...
siapakah yang akan sedar jika aku tidak melaungkannya...
aku menongkah arus sendirian...
makin lama makin lemah aku dibuatnya...
siang dan malam tidak mengenal aku...
mencari kekuatan bersendirian...
aku sangkakan perahu di lautan mampu menolong...
makin dipaksa untuk mengejar...
semakin jauh dan tak terkapai oleh kudratku...
sesekali tidak menoleh kearahku...
bertapa terseksa aku laluinya...
keliru sama ada aku perlu teruskan mengejar...
atau membuat sempadan untuk aku terus hidup...
Aku biarkan diri aku terus terapung...
untuk dibawa arus gelora....


Hidup ini penuh dengan pilihan...
pilihan yang perlu diteliti...
hukum alam tidak lekang dengan panas dan hujan...
untuk kita terus sebati...

Tatkala aku "struggle" dalam hidup aku...
sukar sangatkah untuk terima aku seadanya?
aku membosankan?
am i too complicated?
aku ni mmg susah nak handle?
aku sendiri mencari salah diri sendiri...
sehingga ia membunuh aku...
membunuh jiwa aku...

Sebenarnya jika aku peka dengan suasana sekeliling...
tatkala aku berhempas pulas di lautan itu...
sahabat yang sentiasa bersama aku di masa senang dan susah....
sedang berenang sama untuk menyelamatkan diriku...
semuanya mahu menyelamatkan aku...
mungkin cara mereka berbeza....
aku sangat hargai dari sekelumit usaha hingga sebesar-besar cara...
terima kasih pada semua...

persoalannya aku terus terapung...
Ahamdulillah hari ini sangat bermakna...
seseorang telah membuat aku terus berenang menempuh gelora....
tetapi bukan untuk mendapatkan perahu...
tetapi terus mencari kapal yang benar-benar akan selamatkan aku...

"ko dah kaji tak dalam2"
"kenapa ko selalu depress?"
"kalau aku evaluate ko dari pandangan aku boleh tak?"
"first aku conclude, ko tak puas hati ngan way of life ko skarang"
"try nak dapatkan bende tak de, daripada bersyukur ngan ape yang ade"
"kau banyak sangat privilage, sayang"
"aku sangat envy ngan ko sejak dulu lagi"
"ko ade great life,kau sangat berkaliber,orang trust ko"
"mebi ko perfectionist?"
"mebi sebab tu ko susah nak puas?"
"kalau ko frowning aku pun ikut berkerut"
"wani. aku kawan ko. ingat tu."
"kalau ko happy~ aku for sure happy"
"don't listen to him,dont ever"
"kenapa ko nak letak rules to get back to normal?"
"he is not _ _ _ _ and will not be _ _ _ _"
"so, don't treat him like _ _ _ _"
"he's another person!!"
"they are 2 completely different person!"
"don't ask how"
"sebab bende tu akan melekat setiap masa kalau ko pk cara"
"hidup cara biasa"
"kekuatan ko tak de kaitan ngan die"
"ko independent,sometimes i think u try too hard"
"aku kawan ko since bile wani?"
"aku tau up down ko"
"aku dapat sense"
"aku pick up clues from the way ko cakap ngan aku"
"aku amik tau pasal ko without ko tau"
"support akan datang kalau ko mintak"
"but you make me feel sad if you are sad"
"seriously,kuat gak perasaan aku kat ko,slalu gak aku pk2 ko sebenarnye,camne nak wat ngan budak ni"
"aiyoo~ ko nak wat ape lagi ni"
"so, tak yah pk bende yang susah nak dapat"
"kutip dulu bende kecik2 tu dulu"
"love youself"
"sebab aku nampak semua tindak tanduk ko membunuh diri"
"membunuh jiwa ko sendiri"
"aku tak nampak dah senyuman ko yang genuine"
"aku tak paham tul orang yang reject ko"
"you can't get anyone better than him"
"kalau aku laki, aku dah lame kawen ngan ko"
"cube treat same je"
"we are who we are"
"if someone doesn't accept us as who we are, just dont bother"
"dah. tak mo pk pelik2"
"kalau ko nak luah kan ape2, cakap ngan aku"

thanks MilaH....
and thanks to each of everyone who appreciate me...
only people know me well know how to appreciate me...
treat others who dont appreciate me like a wind...

Small Little World

Salam.......

how im suppose to feel?

after i discover something that i didnt ask for......

awkward ...... funny.....

as i try to get over it.....

something getting closer to me.....

now i will not neither avoid nor get over....

live with it......

maybe it gets me better.....

O Allah please shower me with your mercy as live in this world
O Allah please bless me in whatever path i take....
O Allah please get everything ease in as my life go on.....
O Allah thank you for every single "nikmat".......

happiness VS money

Money cant Buy Happiness

MONEY can buy bed, but not sleep;

MONEY can buy books, but not wisdom;

MONEY can buy food, but not appetite;

MONEY can buy medicine, but not health;

MONEY can buy finery, but not real beauty;

MONEY can buy paintings, but not the artistry;

MONEY can buy a house, but not a home;

MONEY can buy luxuries, but not culture;

MONEY can buy companions, but not friends;

MONEY can buy marriage, but not love;

MONEY can buy clothes, but not personality;

MONEY can buy anything, but not heaven;

MONEY can buy tombstone, but not death;

MONEY can buy almost everything, but not the dignity and respect of being who we are!

Meaning of Happiness in Islam: Happiness is a feeling that resides in the heart. Happiness is characterized by peace of mind, tranquility, a sense of well-being, and a relaxed disposition. Happiness comes as a result of proper behavior, both inward and outward, and is inspired by strong faith. Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "True enrichment does not come through possessing a lot of wealth, but true enrichment is the enrichment of the soul."

Music time

 

Your Guardian Angel

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
[to fade]

alhamdulillah...a good start??

salam...

it was the most memorable day to me...
huh...suprise birthday party in advance....
anyway i would like to thank.....
my dear family and friends....
nana,syafiq,baem,shahadah,omar,pink,sara,faran,mama,faiz,afiq
as well as my guest on that day from UIA....
it was really meaningful moment to me...
really unexpected well planned....
i thought this time i wont be captured...
haha....
nice acting you guys....


-------------------------------------------------

memang banyak kejutan.....

that day i totally prepare my mind for our meeting in the evening.....
i prepare for the meeting as what being sheduled...
so i expect there will be 2 cars from UIA....
however there only one car fom UIA....
i felt quite dissapointed....
but as long as they bring representative...
as well as our objectives of meeting will achieve...
it will good enough...
tentatively the meeting starts at 5PM...
but some circumstances....
the meeting starts at 6 PM....

-----------------------------------------------------

as they reached CUCMS.....
i was in symphathetic mode....
heart beat increase,
huhu...
trying by hard
to control or using all my voluntary muscle and glands to overcome sympthatetic
gotcha...
the only things come in my mind was
only istihgfar...
to make myself calm...



entering and chairing the meeting was quite nervous for first 10 minutes....
but slowly i adapt and amazingly i dont know where i got a strength....
Allah helped me out and gave me strength even my feeling was mix that time...
yeah i feel thankful,sometimes guilty,sometimes satisfied....
However, Thanks Allah....the meeting end at 7.30PM.....




-------------------------------------------------------

at the end of the meeting....
i received one call sounds like really emergency....
it was from nana....
i was uncertain....
my mind was really "serabut" and confuse.....
but to me i should entertain my guest first....
i was thinking to calm nana will take a longer time...
so i decided to let my "sahabat" from UIA call up day first.....
so after performed solah maghrib....
they looked in hurry to go back to UIA....
i sent them to the car with full of honoured...

--------------------------------

i was thinking to be alone for a while.....
because my shock was still inside...
full of question...
full of assumption....
but nana call for 5 times....
i was really pity on her....
so i just went to consoled her...
the moment i saw her crying in front of library....
i was really felt guilty to make her wait for long time...
so i just grabbed n hugged her to make her comfort....
the moment she said...."syafiq wat hal lagi"
i was so angry to syafiq cause i thought syafiq was repeating his same mistake....
so i ask nana to discuss it in PBL 1...
faiz was at the foyer and exaggerated me...
nana ask me that she had on "the aircond at pharmacy PBL...
and felt comfort if we discussed there....
so i just agree with her seeing her not in good condition.....
once i enter....

SUPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


oh no i was captured by them....................

haha.....
they really added some shock and stimulus on me........
i was speechless.....
thanks pink for the present.....

so they asked me to blow the candle...
it was great and suprise moment to me...



then........
everybody was inside the PBL and really thank them for this suprise....
a moment later sha announced the VIPs....my sahabat from UIA entered.....
unconciously...my tear was dropped "terharu"...
thanks....thank you so much.....
they turned back and joined us....
thanks.... _ _ _ and zuhri....
i cant stand...because my tears...but i try to cover it...
before they went back...
we captured picture together....
thanks again and again...

the most meaningful moment.......



----------------------------------------------------------

at cyberia......
atirah sent me a message for some confirmation....
i just reply "YES"
and she came with biha,KG and Muni.....
she gave body shop product.....
officially it was my first "OWN" perfume...
haha.....
thanks my dear friends atirah and biha.......
i really wish atirah was around to see him....
but it did turn like what i think....
however i feel thankful enough for the precious moment......

----------------------------------------------------------

last but not least....
faran,sara,niza,farid,abel,faidhi,atirah and kencang.....
we "lepaks" together in front of E2A 1200AM 17-03-2008
thanks faran....ferrero.....
it was greatest moment for me celebrating my 21st birthday......


i would like to thank everybody
my family especially....
_ _ _, zuhri and team for coming and celebrated.....i really apprieciate
housemates
family in cyberjaya
team of the programme.....who came for the meeeting (CUCMS).....
for those planned for suprise....
for my friends out there who called,message,comment on friendster...and who gave cards and present......
my beloved best friends out there.....
farah,mizah,kimai,nujaid,safiah,asyraf....
thanks for every single things.....
i would like to apologise anything i did wrong....
please forgive me....
i hope it a good start for me to keep on improving myself to be better person....
please pray for me....

Thank You Allah........