back off.......

You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.

You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.

You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.

You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.

You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.

You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.

You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.

You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.

You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.

Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?

i rest my case......

(My baby warded,t-shirt&other matters LTDN9,Running out money,heart to heart talk,haematology W2,travel with komuter,my dad,confusing at my hometown,Yayasan Negeri Sembilan,one call,terrible night,scolding,discharge my baby,d'mara,no connection,prof rashid,election)

After all sudden happened....

i prefer to be alone.....lunch at bakery...luckily ah soon joined me....he asked me "which posture is the best for digestion-standing or sitting?"...interesting question while he took 2 plates of nasi lemak...the other table-naja n lina is sharing speggethi..the time consumed by ah soon to finish up 2 plates of nasi lemak equals to naja n lina finish up their a plate of spagetthi..my lunch only yong tau fu sup...its more than enough for me for now.....getting out from ordinary world quite helpful...alhamdulillah...at bakery internet connection well....it is the best time for me to write...enough talking,enough pretending,enough to be strong,enough pressure,enough challenge,enough happiness,enough advice,enough for all....

now i rest my case...........
im tired....

special to my mum.....

mama.....
please be strong.....
i always back you up....
dont put so much worry....
it is a fate for us to face....

mama.....
please dont cry.......
my tears always drop....
when i think about you....
you are amazing woman....

mama....
obviously you know...
clearly you can predict.....
everything in your fingertips....
you can read my mind....

mama.....
before i left home....
before i kissed your hand....
before i headed to komuter...
before i asked for my favourite bubur....

mama.....
you captured me with a question....
the matters that really dance in my head...
i hide that just because i want to comfort you....
but you know your daughter very well...

mama....
my focus towards you and the family.....
increase since what happened at home...
i divert my mind towards our family...
but i dont want to cry in front of you...

mama...
we will take a good care of ayah and mama
mama...
be patience
mama...
be strong

mama...ill grab whatever you adviced and guided me to handle this situation...but im so sorry that i have to rest my case...

guilty

Interpersonal Conflict = Sakit Otak

Aidil aka sin chan

batwomen

analyzing

guess

am i right?

fear

"We create conflict unintentionally, because we are unaware how our behavior contributes to interpersonal difficulties."

 "Interpersonal conflict can affect anyone, causing one to view the world from an overwhelmingly grim perspective."

" At some point, however, you will likely choose whether you will retain the stress you feel or take steps to let it go so you can attain peace of mind."

lately i face a conflict.....the conflict that i never ask for....it just happened....

i hope people will not misunderstood....i persuade myself not to blame anybody.....

im sick of pretending....im not being myself....im not just in my consideration

is this the phases to change??.....to be somebody else??

arghh....ouchh

its too painful...

12am till 3am at putrajaya??

its small matter....

its not a big deal...

its fix already...

no option...

careless!!!!!!

of all i need to do just keep on writing....

enjoy my baby(macbook)

enjoy my soul(samsung)

enjoy my pet(i pod)

worry??

fear??

uncertain??

sit back & relax

obviously you have interpersonal conflict

let your hand working when you feel depress 

CDEFGABC1D1E1F1

play the music

dance with your heart

feel with your mind

sway with your emotion

life is like MCQ

Im so sorry by creating this situation

"Please dont let me be misunderstood"

Strengths of a Choleric

The Extrovert | The Doer | The Optimist

The Choleric's Emotions
Born leader
Dynamic and active
Compulsive need for change
Must correct wrongs
Strong-willed and decisive
Unemotional
Not easily discouraged
Independent and self sufficient
Exudes confidence
Can run anything

The Choleric As A Parent
Exerts sound leadership
Establishes Goals
Motivates family to action
Knows the right answer
Organizes household

The Choleric At Work
Goal oriented
Sees the whole picture
Organizes well
Seeks practical solutions
Moves quickly to action
Delegates work
Insists on production
Makes the goal
Stimulates activity
Thrives on opposition

The Choleric As a Friend
Has little need for friends
Will work for group activity
Will lead and organize
Is usually right
Excels in emergencies

Weaknesses of a Choleric

The Extrovert | The Doer | The Optimist

The Choleric's Emotions
Bossy
Impatient
Quick-tempered
Can't Relax
Too impetuous
Enjoys controversy and arguments
Won't give up when loosing
Comes on too strong
Inflexible
Is not complimentary
Dislikes tears and emotions
Is unsympathetic

The Choleric As A Parent
Tends to over dominate
Too busy for family
Gives answers too quickly
Impatient with poor performance
Won't let children relax
May send them into depression

The Choleric At Work
Little tolerance for mistakes
Doesn't analyze details
Bored by trivia
May make rash decisions
May be rude or tactless
Manipulates people
Demanding of others
End justifies the means
Work may become his god
Demands loyalty in the ranks

The Choleric As a Friend
Tends to use people
Dominates others
Knows everything
Decides for others
Can do everything better
Is to independent
Possessive of friends and mate
Can't say, "I'm Sorry"
May be right, but unpopular

satu panggilan.....

6.35 petang - 14 November 2008

"handphone" ku berbunyi.......

nombor yang tidak dikenali......

tersentak dibuai mimpi......

letih dibuatnya sehari-harian ini....

mungkin kepalaku yang letih....

gagahkan diriku mencapai "handphone"ku....

walaupun kerusi sofa ini sangat selesa....

pada mulanya malas ku melayani bunyi itu....

C-"assalamualaikum"

W-"waalaikumussalam...."sambil melegakan anak tekak ku yang batuk ini

suara yang pernah ku kenali.....

C-"wani kan....apa khabar?"

W-"baik alhamdulillah" sambil batuk...

C-"amboi garangnya suara...kenal tak ni sapa?"

W-" erhmm xsihat sikit....ehmmm mak ngah ke?"

C-"mak ngah??sambil tertawa...."

diriku turut sahaja tertawa....entah kenapa tiba-tiba sahaja aku meneka dengan spontan...mungkin ku masih mamai.....

C-"Cik Wa ni....."

mahu sahaja menjerit terkejut.....Ya Allah Cik Wa...guru bahasa arab ku yang sudah lama aku tidak bertanyakan khabar....rasanya mahu sahaja meluluhkan air mata ini dari kelopaknya....

terharu dibuatnya....sangat rindu pada guru kesayanganku yang telah ku anggap macam makcik sendiri....

W-"Cik Wa....Ya Allah rindunya wani kat cik wa!!!!!!"sebak sebentar.....

C- " Cik Wa pun rindu kat wani...sebab tu cik wa telefon....tadi cik wa telefon rumah..tak da sapa yang angkat....."

W- "mungkin mak tiada kat umah..belum balik dari sekolah....Cik Wa sihat?" ku bertanya dengan bersungguh2..teringat aku pada wajah guruku ini yang sangat penyayang dan tegas...

C-"Cik Wa alhamdulillah....."sambil ketawa kecil

W-"pakcik apa khabar cikwa?"

C-"Alhamdulillah....banyak "improvement"...semenjak mendapat rawatan sauna kat PD" suara yang agak sebak bercampur gembira

W-" pakcik ....."

C-"pakcik dah tak keje dah....tapi alhamdulillah dia bertambah sihat"

pakcik yang ku kenali yang dulunya sangat periang dan penyayang...pegawai tabung haji...fasih berbahasa arab..selalu bersama-sama Cik Wa dan kami(Abidah,Nadrah,Wani,Jadul) tuisyen bahasa Arab dirumahnya dan banyak membantu Cik Wa dalam mengendalikan kelas bahasa arab..kedua-dua mereka fasih berbahasa arab...masyAllah...harmoninya rumah tangga mereka walaupun tidak kurniakan zuriat tetapi masih bahagia mengharungi hidup berumahtangga walaupun bersama anak angkat mereka....kami juga dianggap seperti anak mereka juga.."flashback" setiap detik yang ku kenang ketika mengharungi SPM dan Bahasa Arab tinggi...

Pakcik lebih tiga tahun lepas diserang angin ahmar seorang diri dirumahnya ketika Cik Wa berkursus....tidak dapat ku gambarkan bagaimana tabahnya hati Cik Wa mengharungi hari-harinya.

W-"Alhamdulillah...gembira wani dengar..."

C-"Wani sekarang belajar kat mana..."

W-"ehrmm..di Cyberjaya...." terpaku ku dibuatnya seketika...

C-"owh ambil "Course" apa disana?"

W-"ambil perubatan Cik Wa...."tiba-tiba terasa air mata ku semacam hendak gugur

C-"Alhamdulillah.....bakal doktor la ni"

W-"erhmmm...insyAllah jika Allah izinkan..."

C-"InsyAllah...selalulah buat solat hajat dan solat dhuha..minta Allah permudahkan"

Ya Allah......dengan kata-kata tersebut.....semangat ku membara....ntah dari mana timbulnya kekuatan dalam diriku...ku terdiam dan sebak...seolah-olah rahmat datang dariNya...kata-kata seorang guru yang sangat melegakan hatiku....

W-"InsyAllah...Cik Wa tolong doakan wani istiqamah dalam setiap amalan....."

C- "InsyAllah...sentiasa ada azam yang tinggi dalam diri..."

W-" Ya Allah Cik Wa rasanya nak je.. jumpa Cik Wa peluk Cik Wa memang rindu sangat dengan Cik Wa...ari tu.....memang ada hajat nak singgah rumah Cik Wa untuk beraya....tapi terpaksa balik awal  sebab nak teman mak pegi kenduri....

C-" nanti bila-bila singgah la rumah Cik Wa....ehmm.. lagi satu selalu amalkan makan kurma dan kismis,badam bakar, jaga makan tu sikit...."

Tersenyum ku dibuatnya...kata-kata nasihat yang dah lama tidak ku dengar dari Cik Wa...ku rindu dengan kata-kata nasihat Cik Wa...

Perbualan kami berlanjutan sehingga bonda ku telefon...terpaksa ku minta diri dari Cik Wa untuk menyambut panggilan bonda ku....

Reflection aka Muhasabah....

terharunya pabila menerima panggilan darimu....

wahai guru......

tersentuh hatiku pabila diri ini diingatimu......

wahai mualimah...

rahmat dan ilmu mu sangat ku dahgakan.....

wahai ustazah...

setiap kata-kata mu sungguh bermakna....

wahai guru....

rindu hati ini padamu...

wahai mualimah....

tabahkan hatimu mengharungi segala ujian....

wahai ustazah......

ilmu mu tidak dapat ku nilai bertapa banyaknya dicurahkan padaku....

wahai guru....

kehadiran & panggilan mu kali ini benar-benar menyentuh hatiku......

wahai mualimah....

sesungguhnya Allah memberi ku cahaya dengan kehadiran mu.....

Ya Allah......

ampunilah dosa-dosaku.....

permudahkan setiap perjalanan hidupku....

berkatkanlah segala ilmu yang ku pelajari.....

jadikanlah hamba Mu ini tabah dan redha dengan setiap ujian Mu.....

pimpinlah diriku kearah jalan kebenaran.....

didiklah diriku menjadi seorang yang rendah diri......

limpahkanlah inayah dan rahmatMu.....

sesungguhnya ku amat mengharapkan kasih sayang dariMu....

Ya Allah makbulkanlah dan dengarlah rintihan dan doa dari hambaMu yang Dhoif ini......

Ameen.....

Inilah RahmatMu yang tidak disangka-sangka.....sekadar coretan ikhlas buatmu GURUKU

 

Untuk Diri Ku

UNTUKMU HAWA

Seindah Hiasan Adalah Wanita yang solehah

Sebagai renungan dan peringatan buat diriku dan sahabat2 yang lain

Hawa,

Andai engkau masih remaja,

Jadilah anak yang solehah buat kedua ibu bapamu.

Andai engkau sudah bersuami

Jadilah isteri yang meringankan beban suamimu,

Andai engkau masih ibu,

Didiklah anakmu sehingga dia tidak gentar memperjuangkan ad-din Allah.

Hawa,

Andai engkau belum berkahwin

Jangan kau risau jodohmu,

Ingatlah hawa janji Tuhan kita.

Jangan dimulakan sebuah pertemuan

dengan lelaki yang bukan muhrim,

kerana khuatir dari mata jatuh ke hati,

maka lahirnya senyuman

maka tercetusnya salam

dan sekaligus disusuli

dengan pertemuan takut lahirnya

nafsu kejahatan yang menguasai diri.

Hawa,

Lelaki yang baik tidak melihat paras rupa,

Lelaki yang soleh tidak memilih wanita melalui keseksiannnya,

Lelaki yang warak tidak menilai wanita melalui keayuannya,

keremajaannya, serta kemampuannya menggoncang iman lelaki,

tetapi lelaki yang baik akan menilai wanita melalui akhlaknya,

peribadinya dan yang penting pegangan agamanya.

Lelaki yang baik juga tidak menginginkan

pertemuan dengan wanita yang bukan muhrimnya

kerana dia takut memberi kesempatan

kepada syaitan untuk menggodanya.

Lelaki yang warak juga tidak mahu

bermain cinta kerana dia tahu apa matlamat

dalam sebuah pertemuan lelaki dan wanita

yakni sebuah perkahwinan.

Oleh itu hawa,

Jagalah pandanganmu,

Awasilah auratmu,

Pelihara lah akhlakmu

Kuatkan pendirianmu.

Andai ditakdirkan tiada cinta

daripada Adam untukmu,

Cukuplah hanya cinta Allah

Memenuhi dan menyinari kekosongan jiwamu.

Biarlah hanya cinta daripada

kedua ibu bapamu yang memberi

hangatan kebahagiaan buat dirimu,

cukuplah sekadar cinta adik-beradik

serta keluarga yang membahagiakan dirimu.

Hawa..

Cintailah Allah di kala susah dan senang

kerana kau akan memperolehi cinta

daripada insan yang juga mencintai Allah.

Cintailah kedua ibu bapamu

kerana kau akan memperolehi keredhaan Allah.

Cintailah keluargamu

kerana kau tak akan jumpa

cinta yang bahagia selain

daripada cinta keluarga.

Failures in my life

academically + affective domainly :P

i wish to have my own checklists table of failures in my life.....

so that i could fill it day by day,week by week,month by month,year by year...

it sounds so "bersemangat" right?

should failures being secreted?

i dont think so.....

people would say"membuka pekung di dada"

failures VS "aib"

they are two different thing...

Life can be seen through your eyes but it is not fully appreciated until it is seen through your heart.

I believe love is primarily a choice and only sometimes a feeling. If you want to feel love, choose to love and be patient.

Life is a long lesson in humility.

A promise must never be broken

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.

Nothing is miserable unless you think it is so.

Say what you will, 'tis better to be left than never to have been loved

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.

Love is a game that two can play and both win.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

Sit Back & Relax

"Oh Allah,The most merciful,please guide me in the right path,please ease my way to grab the barakth from You, please shower Your Rahmah, You are the one and only I seek for help, Oh Allah Your humble servant ask for forgiveness of the past, please forgive me and show me the brightness of this life along my journey to be a good muslimah.Ameen"

Nobody Can Remove Hurt Except Allah. Even if someone tries to cause you any hurt, stay firm in your belief and remember that no one can cause you any pain if Allah does not desire it for you.

“And if Allah touches you with hurt, there is none who can remove it but He; and if He intends any good for you, there is none who can keep back His favor: He brings it to whom He pleases of His servants; And He is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”-Quran,surah Yunus; 10:107

Don't let me be Misunderstood

Sign & Symptoms (Sx)

In layman's terms, "signs" are those "things" that we can see, and "symptoms" are those "things" that the patient tells us.

"Signs" brings very broad meanings as well as "symptoms".

In medical world these two terms very closely related to determine the differential diagnosis (Dx).

However this time around, im not going to discuss the layman's term but more relative to daily life.

Signs and symptoms sometimes help us to understand situation.In my personal opinion, sign is  given to make people realise and able to understand the meaning. It is applicable when "action talks more than words". While symptoms is the response of the signs. Let me give some example, when we are on the road, the red light is a sign for the driver  to stop. Thus the symptom "the driver stop the vehicle". Maybe some people might not agree and not applicable to human, but it still has a varians.  Dealing with human being or homo sapiens it turns quite complicated. People cant read other people's mind even parents & children, husband & wife, teacher & student,bosses & workers or even between siblings & between friends.Sometimes people fight for just a simple matter. There are several factor that effect these two links;1. gender 2. environment 3. upbringging 

Here some tips:-

signs - need to be clear 

symptoms - need to be justify (behavior)

The best metaphor "homeostasis"

we need three component to balance this integrated system...

receptor - control centre - effector

receptor = 5 sense ( what you see,what you hear,what you feel,what you smell,what you touch )

control centre = Justification ( how you detect,how you interpret,how you digest,how you control,how you decide& justify)

effector = Response ( be just,be wise,be independent,be yourself)

It sounds too idealistic.....

but to modify it to be realistic we need certain skills....

1. communication

2. social

3. psychology   

i wish to elaborate further in the next entry insyAllah.....

enjoy reading .....

take home message : husnuzon and dont make any early assumption before you understand the situation- we deal with people heart,mind and soul. Be wise and justice to ourselves as well people around us.....

~~~~Reflection~~~~

People, do you understand me now
Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don't you know that no one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
People, sometimes I'm so carefree
With a joy that's hard to hide
And sometimes it seems that all I have do is worry
Then you're bound to see my other side
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
If I seem edgy I want you to know
That I never mean to take it out on you
Life has it's problems and I get my share
And that's one thing I never meant to do

Oh, Oh people don't you know I'm human
Have thoughts like any other one
Sometimes I find myself long regretting
Some foolish thing some little simple thing I've done
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Happy Birthday - Mizah + Monalina + Sara

InsyAllah today my entry is dedicated to my trio friends who born on 31st october 1986/1988/1989

Siti Nur Ramizah Abd. Razak

Because today's so special 

it really wouldn't do,

to send one simple birthday wish 

to last the whole year through...

So this wishes happy moments,

a day when dreams come true,

and a year that's filled with all the things

that mean the most to you.

*

Hope all that you do

Turns out happy for you

And all that you wish

Comes your way,

So each hour will bring

Every wonderful thing

You could ask of a wonderful day

*

May your birthday bring

You as much happiness

As you give to everyone 

Who knows you

Happy Birthday my dear best friend.....

~~~my other half~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monalina Abu Hanipah

Because you’re very special

Hope your Birthday holds in store

Happy hours that overflow

With all you’re wishing for,

And hope the days that follow it 

Make up a year that brings

Everything that you deserve

A million happy things.

*

Hope lovely surprises

Are coming your way,

To make your

Birthday a

Wonderful day.

Happy Birthday

~~~my lovely sister~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara Idris

These Birthday greetings are wished

Most affectionately your way

For someone who’s very nice

Deserves an extra special day,

So here’s wishing every happiness

Today, especially for you,

With lots of your favourite things

In the year ahead too!

Happy Birthday

*

Because today’s your birthday,

And because you’re extra nice,

One wish is not enough for you

And so here’s wishing twice…

Hoping your Birthday’s wonderful

In every single way

And next year brings happiness

For you day after day

Happy Birthday

~~~~my genius roomate(cingga)~~~